Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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