The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
