we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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