rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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