even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
