Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
And then he peed in my hair
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