nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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