look no pants
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
