So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
