my phone needs a breathalizer
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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