Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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