do herpes really smell.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
