the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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