I need help removing her.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
