The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
