I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
