Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
