sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
