i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
