i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
