umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
