ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
