Got a toothbrush?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
