Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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