I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
