That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
