i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
