After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
