He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
