jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
