I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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