Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
