North Korea, Best Korea!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize