Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
