no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
