think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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