Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
