We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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