are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
