two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
