So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
