dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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