just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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