You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
