So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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