Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
