do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's rum buckets o'clock
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
