i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
