I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
