So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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