Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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