wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
